The Horrible History of Miserable Men

As part of my "I Need To Grow Up" regime i have taken to reading more grown-up newspapers, namely The Times. Now the newspaper itself i not really my cup of tea as the layout is slightly dull and not all of the articles are as interesting as i would like. However, they do allocate space in the newspaper for very interesting articles about people. I think it has already been established in this blog how interesting i find the lives of others, no matter who they are, and the newspaper is an endless source of material on how other people do the things they do. In the Sunday Times Magazine i was enthralled to learn about Richard Caring, the owner of many established restauants and clubs, notably The Ivy in London. His, literal, rags to riches story was not only informative bt also put you in the mindset of how this man works. Bitterly apparently.

Yesterday i thought i would follow the trend of being grown up by, again, chosing The Times as my reading material. I came across this article about acclaimed children's non-fiction writer Terry Deary. I was an avid fan of his Horrible Histories book and thought the way it dealt with the grittier aspects of history was far more entertaining than the banalty of the classroom. The series began in 1993 with The Awesome Egyptians and the series developed from there. The books wold top best selling lists across the board and found their way into the nations history loving hearts. My personal favourite was The Terrible Tudors. I already loved learning about the Henry's at school and this book fueled the passion further. This snippet shows completely my love for the books:

Tudor doctors had some herbs that worked but may of their cures were just sad and silly superstitions. Here are a few of the wacky (but true) Tudor cures:

Got a headache? Then rub your forehead a rope that was used to hang a criminal. Suffer from rheumatism? Then wear the skin of a donkey. In pain with gout? Boil a red-haired dog in oil, add worms and the marrow from pig bones. Rub the mixture in. A painful liver? Drink a pint of ale every morning for a week - with nine head-lice drowned in it.

Are you bald? Use a shampoo made from the juice of crushed beetles. When the head is clean then rub in grease made from the fat of a dead fox. Are you a martyr to asthma? Swallow young frogs or live spiders, cover them in butter to help them slide down easier. Other crazy cures included powdered human skull, bone-marrow mixed with sweat, a stone that has killed a she-bear and fresh cream mixed with the blood of a black cat's tail.

Tasty treats! You'd soon be out of your sick bed if you were offered those poisonous panaceas.

Not only is the piece written in a whimsical yet intelligent fashion, it makes you want to read more. After the nostaligia for how much i liked the books wore off i realised that the writer of such cleverness was in fact a quite miserable man. He personally slags off historian Niall Ferguson (of whom i know little of but i am sure such a personal attack is because of a dispute between the two rather than a professional dig) and claims that all historians are "obnoxious" and that publishing is "the seediest profession i 've worked in". From the offset it becomes apparent that Deary likes to work on the outside of society. His books already tested the national currculam and has been quoted in saying that schools:

"have no relevance in the 21st century. They were a Victorian idea to get kids off the street. Who decided that putting 30 kids with only their age in common in a classroom with one teacher was the best way of educating? At my school there were 52 kids in the class and all I learned was how to pass the 11-plus. Testing is the death of education. Kids should leave school at 11 and go to work."

Now i could quite agree with the fact that schooling does only teach you how to pass the exams that are in place, but education is a fundamental part of growing up and who you are is developed by going to school regardless of what is being taught in the classroom. Education teaches you what things you are interested in, whether you are theory or practice, whether you are social or non-social, how to speak in front of others, having confidence in things you produce and the understanding of rejection.

In the article itself, Deary is painted as a bitter man. His main recognition is for the Horrible History series when it becomes apparent that he is far more proud of the other work he has produced. His hatred for publishing probably comes from the limited success his other work has achieved. His hatred for historians seems to come from the doubt that they have had in his work to succeed. He says he does not want to be "churning out the same old thing" when he gets to 74 but the man seems in no way grateful for the platform these books have given him.

It would seem that for a man who openly dispells the education system, he did not grasp on to the life lessons that the establishment can offer. He end the piece with "I never wanted to write in the first place". Well Deary, we already have your masterpieces, maybe it is time for you to quit whilst ahead.

Mock Interview Answers

In case you haven't noticed already, i have finished university now. Dissertation was submitted months ago, my one exam is complete and it is now time for the job hunt. Not only do i need to decide on what it is that i want to do for the rest of my life, i also need to decide on what i am good at. Hard one.


Ok so initially i was quite scared to actually write any of these down just in case it (a) sounds like complete and utter rubbish or (b) any future employers stumble across my blog (unlikely) and see that i am a complete worrier and decide that i am a useless employee, which is not true!


So anyway, in preparation for any standard questions an interviewer may ask, i shall practice answering as best as i can in hope that this will help when the inevitable day happens. If any changes do need to be altered, PLEASE let me know. You could be changing my life.


Talk me through your career.
Well, I have worked in retail for the past six years where i gained my confidence in communication, achieving goals and targets, working under pressure and the importance of organisation and commitment within companies. Further to this, i have also gained invaluable work experience as both a Press Officer and a PR Assistant. This fueled my ambition to work within PR. I saw exactly how the day-to-day runnings of a Public Relations office worked and how my enthusiasm and hunger for success within the media is best suited to such an environment. I have been committed in all my chosen jobs and am dedicated to growing within companies and being a trusted member of a team.

Tell me about yourself.
I am highly ambitious and strive to learn something new everyday. I enjoy competition and love being active in everything i do. This has translated in my love for travel and writing. I like to keep up to date with everything from soap gossip to political events. I am scared of being left behind. I am inspired my creativity and look to established professionals as my motivation to succeed.

Why should i hire you?
I am looking for that amazing break with a role where i can learn and grow within an established company. I am passionate about learning new things and constantly strive to do well in everything I do. I am organised, conscientious and a bit of a perfectionist. I like to do well and am urged on by the need to succeed on my own and as part of a team. I hate to let people down. I know that the position you are offering suits my great ambition and i hope that with the best intentions i will be a great support to the companies team.

Why are you looking to leave your current employer?
I have enjoyed my time immensely with Starbucks and they have given me invaluable work experience and friendship but it was always to be my part time job. My dream job and passion is in PR and i hope that, on graduating, i came make that dream come true.

What is your biggest achievement to date?
It is not a guaranteed but if i get First Class Honours in my degree i will be extremely happy and it will be my biggest academic achievement. Personally, i have achieved many things that i am proud of: great friends, a great boyfriend, i have travelled and realised who i am as a person.

How would your current manager describe you?
I think he would say i was efficient, organised and extremely talkative. I would hope that the one thing that i have injected into the Starbucks i work in is a positive environment. My role in the Operational Excellence Audit was to raise staff morale and customer communication as part of the Third Place (A Starbucks term for making the customer feel that Starbucks is their "Third Place" after home and work). I hate negativity in the work place.

What are your strengths and weaknesses?
I think a strength and a weakness for me would be ambition. I always want to do well but I struggled initially in deciding what aspect of my life i wanted to do well. I think when i started balancing university with a job and a social life i managed to get that balance perfect and now i know how to direct my ambition to where i want to be.

Why do you want this job?
I think this job will be a fantastic opportunity for me as a recent graduate. It provides me with the mentoring and training i need to grow and also the opportunity for me to work within a high achieving company. I hope that i can continue to learn and develop everyday and that you will appreciate the kind of skills i could bring to your company.

Phew. And that's the question and answer section over. God i hope i can remember all of that when i eventually get asked them (on the presumption that one day i will be interviewed for a job!!)

Here's hoping.

The Animal in Me

On a day where one really must be putting more effort into getting a job i have decided that it is probably best to decide upon which animal i am.

This, of course, is an important aspect of every job-seekers research in preparation for the strange questions interviewers may ask. On the off chance that a future employer will base his/her entire opinion on my self-worth on what animal i would be if such ridiculous things were possible i am indeed prepared.

I would be a lion.

Or so http://www.animalinyou.com/ suggests.

After answering some ludicrous questions the website churn out a ridiculous description of what I (believe I) am and what jobs i am fit for. I will admit, i was completely self-obsessed and answered that i am above-average attractive, am popular and incredibly efficient in the workplace (on my very best days).

Apparently, this is what i am:

The lion personality has the unmistakable presence of nobility. Moving with the unruffled calm of a cat and the dignified gait of someone in command, lions have no need to walk or talk quickly since they're never in danger of being ignored or marginalized. Every now and then, the lion will play to its gruff reputation by dramatically reprimanding a subordinate or impulsively making love to its partner with unsheathed claws. But underneath all its hissing and scratching, it's still a pussycat at heart.

Though my absolute favourite part of the whole thing is the best suited jobs:

Lions are aggressive, predictable and dependable. Others always know where they stand with a lion, and their confidence and leadership abilities make them successful CEOs, company presidents, judges or lion tamers.

I am going to go out on a whim here and suggest that lions are possibly the worst choice for judges. How on earth would they bang the hammer down? Or announce the impending sentence?? As Lion Tamers on the the other hand...

From this i am to disregard this information in favour of my favourite animal: Penguins.

They are, apparently, creative and good writers but are not endeavoured to succeed.

Sod that.

They're beautiful, resilient creatures who work effortlessly to protect and feed their family.
They also look great in hats.

What I Have Learnt This Year

2010- the year i went crazy.

Contributions to the crazy:
-Broken USB stick with all my dissertation work on it.
-Uncle hospitalised and still in sedated state
-Nana's dog dying three days after Uncle hospitalised
-Mum being upset a lot because of both
-Dissertation panic
-Bike stolen
-Supervisor training hell
-My life ahead seeming very unorganised and scary

However, i have also realised how happy this year has made me regardless of all the craziness!

Contributions to happiness:
-Consistent good marks for my essays
-Getting somewhere with my dissertation word count, FINALLY!!
-Lost a good amount of weight to make me feel healthier and fit better into nice clothes!
-Being appreciated at work for doing all the training for no extra money
-Doing more exciting things in Manchester rather than the same old thing over and over again
-Looking forward to summer planning, Glasto and Parklife anybody?!

So all in all, i think i strive on a hectic lifestyle. Too much calm makes me bored and slightly nervous for the next stressful time. I have also learned that even if a lot of bad stuff gets thrown my way, i can still have a good time.

Do not want to finish uni. Cannot wait for the Summer. What a contradiction!!

Clara Bow

After a few weeks of utter neglect of my blog for a good time now, i thought it would be quite nice to do a quick post about my new love. For my dissertation i have decided to look at the construction of Celebrity as i am completely obsessed by it. In particular, the It Girl, that beautiful creation of famous for being simply fabulous. Through my research i have been drawn to the stunning creature that is Clara Bow, the original and definitive It Girl. After starring in the film It she was labelled by journalist as the It Girl and the label has stuck with us through the ages and is still used to label certain celebs these days.

She doesn't fit into the celebrity stereotype we are now so aware of. She is not stick thin, or blonde and, as she was a silent star, we do not know her as much as we know celebrities of today like, the other subject of my dissertation, Paris Hilton. However, she does have something that immediately draws your eye to her. That classic pout and defining curled hair. She seems to be the epitome of Twenties flapper glamour and i cannot wait to learn more about her.

Addicted to Wanting?

I need to stop searching blogs for fashion inspiration for our imminent trip to London. After finding http://stylescout.blogspot.com/ and her bleddy fashionable pictures from around Brick Lane (BRICK LANE LAURA!! This is it, we have to go) i am having a fashion panic. The wish list is growing by the day but i have no time to shop.

I keep getting increasing panic attacks where i think, well I'll just run into town right now and buy myself things. This is not going to happen. For one, i don't have any time (as usual) to shop. And two, i need to utilise the small time i do have to shop to buy a certain wifey a last added extra to the B-day prezzie in the hopes of it looking rather fabulous.

So the added extras to the wish list:

• Leather Gloves (£19.99 in H&M which i so desperately want)


• More trousers, possibly Harem or more tailored. But preferably CHEAP!


• Furry hat after seeing the girl below


• Gold chain bag


• Boot heels


• Wifeys birthday night out outfit which i still have no idea for

This girl is pretty much my sole inspiration for this whole new wish list (apart from the leather gloves, they are just a recent spot on a rushed shopping trip)

I'd like to think, even though i think she looks completely amazing, that i could add more of a feminine twist to the idea. Possibly with my trench coat and heels. I would also never pull off the vampy make up look but i hope that my own interpretation could look just as good.

*sigh* I want too much.

Le Donk

I can never decide if i am a fan of British cinema. Every so often we come good and deliver a film that's worthy of talking about. But it is always inevitable that if someone we spawn here in Britain does anything of note, they always hop, skip and jump over the pond to that-place-where-movies-come-from. Take Danny Boyle for instance. Now I'm not saying that Boyle denies his heritage in anyway. I regularly see him in Manchester (earl grey tea please) and he takes lovingly about his home country all the time. Recently, however, his spin on film has had that Hollywood gleam poured all over it.

Can we call this British film? British directors, actors and values with American money and aesthetic. I'm not too sure.

This is where Shane Meadows comes in. The director is most definitely British. Not in the i wish to be Queen way. Oh no, no. Shane Meadows is British in the "I'm quite happy to eat a pie and have a pint and speak with a midland slur thank you very much" kind of way. The way in which we all live our lives, (especially me, midlands accent and all). The thing that makes this man so great is his resolute defiance to head into mainstream. He is quite happy to team up with long time friend, and muse, Paddy Considine, and make a very good film for no money in about five days.

This is why i am looking forward to watching Le Donk and Scor-zay-zee. This is the Uttoxeter born directors latest bit of British pie, served with a side of humour. Ive only heard good things so far and i look forward to seeing it.

* As a note, i would like to mention that in no way am i bad mouthing Hollywood cinema, Danny Boyle or the Queens English. They all make very good films.